Well folks, I was invited to join in another podcast at Around Comics. Feel free to check it out. I talk about what I've been reading lately (Hellblazer) and all kinds of other geeky coolness.

So I haven't said much yet, because I didn't know where this was going, but it appears to be very promising. And I hope I'm not speaking too soon, because I'm pretty sure the person I'm mentioning here is reading this very post.

So...well...I'm kinda seeing someone...

We went on a couple dates last year and had a great time together, but due to a number of extenuating circumstances, it was just bad timing.

Three weeks back, we ran into each other over at Market Days and he mentioned he wanted to get together sometime. I was absolutely interested...he's a hot guy and we have a lot in common, so I got in contact and we spent the entire Sunday last weekend together...and the entire Sunday today too. And it was so easy and comfortable and relaxed, I just instantly felt at ease, which tends to be a difficult thing for me. Each time I spend with him I enjoy his company even more. I'm guessing that's a pretty good sign.

He's a really good guy and has a lot of good stuff going for him...and I feel really lucky that he's interested in me. I suppose we're going to play this very slowly...I think that's a good thing for both of us.

I think the funniest thing about the whole situation is that we literally grew up about 150 miles from each other, in Central California. He's from Bakersfield, and I'm from Lompoc....and we meet in Chicago? How funny is that??

I'm really excited about this, and it's the first time in years I've been this excited about someone. So we'll see how it goes. :-)

The weekend was a great success. I managed to swindle convince several buddies here in the city to join me on a trip to Six Flags Great America. I hadn't been yet, and knowing the winter is rapidly approaching, I wanted to attempt to fully enjoy the beautiful summer days we've been having lately. In particular, I wanted to enjoy Hurricane Harbor. I love water parks myself, and wanted to share the added benefit of hot daddies running around in nothing but swim shorts with the gang.

On Saturday, Jeff, Craig, and chgolthr all met up at what is quickly becoming our version of The Peach Pit, Horizons Cafe, for breakfast. Afterwards, we loaded up Jeff's car and trekked out to Gurnee for a morning of water parks and the afternoon/evening riding roller coasters. Unfortunately about half of the good slides were shut down since most of the kids who normally lifeguard have left for the college season. The park didn't have enough employees to man all the rides so we missed out on a few. Ah well, there's always next year. The rides we did get on were a blast. The funnel ride was easily the most popular! The wave pool was lots of fun too, but PACKED with kids. I was more worried about clocking some kid in the face with my foot so I kind of moved back for a bit. Still a blast though.

Afterwards, we changed out of our swim trunks and got on the roller coasters. Incidentally, if you're ever at the park and you're considering riding the new Dark Knight ride...don't. It is absolutely terrible. I was shocked how bad it was. It's basically one of those silly switchback "rollercoasters" with no banks that can easily cause spinal trauma. Oh, and the bad clown mannequins just positioned in random areas. The attraction was a mess and we spent WAY too much time waiting to get on. Just...don't ever get on that thing, it's terrible.

The rides I DID enjoy were the American Eagle, Vertical Velocity, and Superman. I REALLY dug Superman...that was a total blast.

We were a little concerned with the chances of rain for the day, but fortunately it sprinkled lightly twice and then we were greeted with a fantastic sunny afternoon. :-) Thanks again guys for the great fun!

And that's the end of another job opportunity here in Chicago and the beginning of another, on Monday. Hopefully this will be it for a while.

This is like a claymation tutorial on how to handle zombies in YOUR home.

Who knew under all that drag that Varla Jean Merman was a fucking HOT daddy????? I can't seem to find any pix of him as himself...probably for a reason, but damn, he was hot last night on Project Runway. Big 6'2" blonde muscle daddy with a sharp high and tight. I've seen her show in P-Town twice and never even knew!!



I'm not ashamed to say I'd love Varla (in man drag) to tie me down and use me senseless.

*sigh*

So I find myself often thinking about trust, and what it means to me. Also, I contemplate whether the trust I have for people is misplaced at times.

I'm a pretty sensitive person, as many of you may know. It's a strength and a weakness, and I try to control how I respond to feedback from people. Sometimes, even if folks don't realize, the things they say can be really hurtful, particularly if it's done so in a condescending tone. I've lived my entire life with that treatment under my family, and though it's not an excuse, it has a tendency to trigger me more when people use it against me.

Usually, my immediate reaction is "What did I do wrong?? And how can I fix this?" If feeling like I've been treated like this one too many times from someone, I will inevitably turn to a "FUCK YOU" attitude with that person.

I don't trust easily, and when I feel people betray that trust, it's like a knife stab in the back. I know people make mistakes and have the opportunities to right those, but for some reason, 9 out of 10 times, I'm the one apologizing for some situation which I may have had little to no responsibility in creating. Just so there's not this barrier of hostility that exists between me and any party that I have issues with. In many ways, it's something I do every day in my job, to appease people and resolve conflict. So I try to use those same tools in my personal life...but for some reason, it usually ends up as me being the perceived guilty party. To that, I also say "fuck it..." and is probably why I don't open up to too many people or allow many folks in, emotionally.

This takes me to the point of this little post. I've always imagined myself in a relationship with someone, preferably with some sort of D/s angle. I know for a fact I can't possibly do something 24/7, but the idea of being loved enough to be collared by someone is a great fantasy of mine. And that's what it has quickly become...a fantasy.

I guess you could say I've become quite cynical and jaded about this ideal...frankly, I've not been entirely impressed with most of the leather community. There are pockets of good people in this scene, but by and large, I've found a great many of them (or perhaps a very vocal minority) that don't bother to adhere to the principles that I'd been taught and have read. And that is, if you take on a boy, it's a responsibility and that boy is treated with love and respect...not a servant or inanimate play toy. Another is this obsessive attitude about "the community" and certain peoples' obsession with "being a part of it," and making the things they do for "the community" little notes of accomplishments for themselves, ignoring the people around them entirely.

Last I checked, when I donate money to HRC, or my time working with various leather groups, I never pounded a drum and attempted to force a spotlight on myself in some inane need to feel "special" or "important." I guess I always thought that the act was supposed to make me feel that way. That I didn't have to advertise my own contributions in some terrible need for attention.

I've seen a lot in this community...I've seen people do some wonderful things, and I've seen people do quite terrible things. For me, it becomes harder, as I grow older, to "trust and let go," for fear that I would likely fall into a relationship with someone who, as a Dom, does not take my needs and safety seriously. That really scares me, to the extent that it's hard for me to be excited, or interested in, a relationship with anyone. I don't consider myself "just a slave," and I don't consider myself a piece of property someone can do with as they will. I've just been through too much in my life to be able to give up that kind of power or control.

I know that I need someone I can respect, and someone who respects me. Maybe that's an incompatible belief system in the leather community, and perhaps that's why I've spent less and less of my time being involved with it. Frankly, I see myself growing further away from those things that turned me on...bondage, domination, etc..., but I don't find those things being replaced by other sexual interests. The excitement and fun in BDSM seems to have left me, and for that I'm very sad...

Man, that Phelps dude is a DICK! ;-)

Oh God...this is cute. A baby katamary damacy king hat:



Found on www.boingboing.net

So, I've said before I was on the diving team in high school, and I'd been in the newspaper many times. I have an overstuffed scrapbook filled with newspaper clippings that always brings a smile to my face. My parents suggested I put it together at the beginning and it's probably one of the few GOOD pieces of advice they ever gave me.

( So check out this clipping with a GREAT photo of me in the air )

Damn, that was a great shot. :-)

My buddy Chris bought a camcorder back in 2001 (prior to 9/11) and took lots of footage over the course of the year. After 9/11, everyone was so sad and depressed, he put together a compilation of videos of all of us having fun in SoCal. Here's one of them:

gearjock posted some pix he took of his university when he went back to visit and it got me browsing flickr in search of some pix of my own campus.

Regrettably, I took very few pictures in college, but that's why I love flickr so much...you can always relive the past through others' photos:



Every time I see that sign I get excited. I loved my university...


Kennedy Library - where I worked for 3 years


Cal Poly's Philips Hall. This was being built when I was in school and completed in my final year


Campus and Bishop's Peak in the background. And yes, I've been up there.


Some of the original Spanish-style buildings. Many of my Chemistry classes were in here.


Horses running on the farm on campus. When the wind is right, you can smell the poo coming from the animals in the dorms LOL!


Here's the overall university.

While searching through flickr, it's amazing to see how much new architecture has taken place at the campus. When I was there, it was a lot of pretty drab concrete, which is disappointing considering Poly has one of of the best architecture programs in the country. It looks like they're trying to address that with some truly unique, modern structures. I have many, many fond memories there, even if I wasn't in the right academic program for me.

I've had a lot of this stuff...but I don't know many of these at all:

The Food tasting meme

1. Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2. Bold all the items you.ve eaten.
3. Cross out any items that you would never consider eating (or eating again)
4. Optional extra: Post a comment http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

To make the filling out of this form and generating the HTML for it a bit easier, reddywhp has played around with some PHP. Go to http://reddywhip.org/lj/foods/ and fill it out there. After filling it out, you will be given the code to copy and paste into your blog.

Livejournal users, remember to use your LJ-Cuts!

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
( The rest of the list is behind the cut )

Here's the manga face I created, thanks to nerdimus_prime for sharing the link: www.faceyourmanga.com

I checked my weight the other night (Monday) at the gym, and I'm officially down to 229#. Now this may be attributed to the flu I had before and how I wasn't eating much, but hopefully I can continue to lose...my goal is 210# and a 36" waist (about 37-38 right now). Then everything will be perfect.

So, my brother and his wife had their baby this morning at 9:54am PST. His name is Donavan Schwenk. I'm so happy for them...can't wait to get pictures. I'm going to need to run over to the Paul Frank store this weekend and get some cute baby clothes. :-)

Hey folks,

Thanks for all the great feedback you provided me on my post earlier. It gave me a lot of great information and insight and it really really helped. So, thanks again. :-)

The Wire has to be just about my favorite tv series ever. I just finished the first season, and OH MY GOD how fucked up that ending was...no happy endings for pretty much anyone eh? LOL.

I started on Season 2 and really like the idea of the new setting in the docks. That makes for some really interesting storylines you don't see often on the boob tube.

Anyone else watching, or have watched, and have any opinions? I'm looking at you die7fox, cuz I think this one is right up your alley.

So this weekend was fun, hanging out at Market Days, but looking around at a lot of these guys in terrific shape (many of whom are older than me), it just got me thinking about how lax I've been about my own health and fitness.

Those who've seen me not 4 years ago can attest that my body has seen better days. And though I know some folks here would say they don't see the difference...I do. I feel it too. I hate that my clothes don't fit right. I hate that my face is a little fuller and thicker than it was in the past.

The fact is, I've gained bad weight. A lot of it.

On the bright side, I HAVE lost about 14# since May. I'm not really sure how...probably due to summer weather, but I currently weigh less than I did when I first moved to Chicago. Down from 244# to 230#. My goal is to get to 210#, and get my lean muscle back up.

Frankly, my body has felt pretty terrible. The spinal pain in my neck and lower back continues to bother me...but I noticed that it gets much worse when I haven't been training, so I'm going to be making a concerted effort to get the bad weight back down and pack on the good stuff, hopefully by the winter holidays. And my last excuse, quick access to the gym, is gone...I'll be walking right past my gym every morning and evening to and from work. So that excuse is gone as well.

So wish me luck. I'm going to try to keep a weight monitoring update on here as motivator for myself, so you guys can see the improvements. Hopefully I can stick with it. LOL!